whatisright | IC Inbox (Drift Fleet)

[ She sniffles against his chest, moving just a little so she can tuck against the warmth he offers. Justice is so much more than she could deserve, and what Dorian told her strikes her again: she should move on. The fact that Justice came for her, even if he doesn’t understand, the hurt of knowing how Solas felt for someone else... ]

I want to kiss you, but I won’t. I’ve had drinks.

[ Making a small, sad noise, Leilani grips at his shirt, closing her eyes. She feels tied up in knots and it’s too much. Her life is falling apart as her hand tries to kill her. It’s not fair. ]

I’m sorry you’re seeing this.

[It doesn't occur to Justice that her feelings for him might be romantic. He has only recently realized that a mortal might wish to have sex with him, let alone that they might wish for a relationship.

He doesn't understand why she shouldn't kiss him when she's been drinking--it seems to him that mortals kiss the most when they drink--but he's not going to question it. Chances are he won't understand the reason anyway.]

Why are you sorry?

[He has seen mortals in much worse states before. He'd be a terrible spirit of justice if he recoiled from mortals in pain.]

[ Justice is too good, she thinks. He’s so kind and gentle, so open to helping her with her hurt, and she doesn’t know how to express to him the depth of what she’s feeling. It would be so easy to tilt her head up and kiss him; it would be so easy to kiss him, to drown in the comfort he’s offering, but... What they shared before was special.

She hiccups something like a sob, pressing her face into his chest, not daring to let go. It feels like she might fall into pieces, that she might shatter and break — she’s tired, and she feels so, so old, ancient in her heart. ]

You shouldn’t see me like this. No one should. I’m meant to be stronger.

[ But Solas - and her broken heart - will always be a weakness. ]

Perhaps to those you command. But I am not under your command, and I am not mortal.

I am a spirit. Mortal facades mean little. I am meant to see your heart, for better or for worse.

[He may not know how to comfort a crying mortal, but he knows how to bear witness to one, and he knows how to see them for what they are. It is his responsibility to know them and to inspire them to be better, or punish them if they cannot be.

He smooths his hand over her hair. He thinks mortals like that. It's physical affection, so Leilani will probably like it.]

That sounds almost romantic.

[ It makes her want to laugh, that she's seeking - and finding, in some kind of illusion to her - romance with a Spirit. It reminds her of idle conversations with Blackwall, with Sera and Solas, wondering about his relationships with spirits, how funny a joke it had been at the time when she had been able to slide up beside him and take his hand.

They'd been happy, and he'd thrown her to one side.

It's easy to lean into his touch, at least, to breathe out a soft, sad noise and cling to Justice, despite the guilt she feels. ]

My head must be a mess for you.

Romantic? [He doesn't see it, but if she does, he's not going to argue. Especially when she's in this state.]

It is, but all mortal minds are messes most of the time. [Hers just happens to be a particularly emotional mess at the moment. It's hard for him to parse through, but the injustice of the situation makes one particular theme stand out to him: a man wronged her terribly.] I can read his possessions, if you believe that would ease your pain.

Almost. [ She scoffs quietly, shifting a little to make herself more comfortable against Justice. It's unfair to him, she thinks, to have to deal with all this emotional baggage, but the last time she was held like this...

Careful, her arms squeeze him gently. She has the wolf jaw necklace, but she's afraid to see what Justice could decipher from it. ] You could. But what if I don't like what you read?

Then at least you would know whether he is worth your pain.

[He pets her hair, considering what Leilani likes, how she's asked to be soothed in the past, and how Riona soothed him when he was in pain.

He could try offering alcohol, but he doesn't have any. So he'll do the next best thing.] Would you like to lie down?

[Cuddling is a soothing activity for mortals, right?]

He's worth it. I never doubted that.

[ Soft, she tilts, leaning into him before she closes her eyes, softening as she breathes out a gentle sound. She wants to move forward, as Dorian had told her to, but there's a burning inside her that makes her feel sad and heavy.

The offer almost, almost makes her laugh, but she nods, reaching out to squeeze Justice again before she leans back. ] That sounds like a good idea.

[ Especially since her head is still spinning just a little bit. ]

Is he still worth it if he was unfaithful?

[Justice doesn't understand, and he can't see how anyone who would intentionally hurt her can be worth this much devotion and love.

As she leans back, so does he, wrapping his arms around her snugly so that she can feel secure.]

My experience with love is limited, but I do not believe someone who loves you is meant to hurt you so badly.

Is he still unfaithful if he doesn’t know I exist? The Solas that was brought here may never have known me.

[ It hurts, but she thinks it’s unjust to suggest that he had been adulterous when all he’d done was fall in love. It breaks her heart because it makes her feel small and silky, unimportant all over again.

At least Justice is warm and comfortable, and she leans into him, closing her eyes. ]

He broke my heart. I can’t forget that, but... I can understand why he didn’t. I wish that made it better.

You do not know whether or not he knew you. [Yes, it would be unreasonable to ask a man to be faithful to a woman he never met, but if they had met, then Justice can't see how it's forgivable.

Justice smooths his hand over her hair. There's something somewhat stiff about the gesture, something he's doing because he thinks she might like it but he's not sure, but it's entirely sincere.] I do not have to read his possessions if you do not wish it.

No. Dorian didn't know me before we met here, and I do not blame him. [ Leilani sighs, soft and sad, concerned with how to handle the awkwardness of this.

At least the touch is nice, and she turns her head up to look at him, fond and gentle before she cuddles closer, trying to bury her emotions and her feelings. ] I... Think I'd like to leave it, for now.

As you wish. [He rests his head on the pillow, continuing to run his hand over her hair.]

Is there something else I can do for you?

Mm. [ She cuddles closer, because he's warm and he's here and she adores it.

Softly, she speaks. ]

Can you stay? Until tomorrow?

Of course.

[He doesn’t want to sleep any more than he already has, but he doesn’t mind staying in one place for the night with her, not if it would make her feel better.

He keeps his arms snug around her, tight and warm.]

IC Inbox (Drift Fleet)

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