whatisright | IC Inbox (Drift Fleet)

[ There's nothing to say she's been avoiding him, exactly; she's been asleep for a few days and been through an experience in the short amount of time, so it's not her fault entirely. The problem is that as soon as she woke up all she wanted was to hide away with Dorian - he's the only thing she has of home, and her desperate need for something familiar had her wrapped up in him and avoiding everyone else. It hurts. The loss of her arm is one thing, but her connection to the Fade has faltered, her connection to Solas is gone, her heart broken all over again.

It's impossible to hide forever, all the same, and she knows that there are people that want to see her. She can hear one of them getting closer to the room she now shares with Dorian and her heart feels heavy in her throat; it's too much, it feels like something is pressing down her chest, but... She pushes herself to her feet and walks to the door anyway, opening it up before Justice has a chance to knock. She's still a little unsteady on her feet, not entirely used to being armless, but she tilts her head up and offers a wry smile all the same - as if nothing is wrong. ]

Come on in, Justice.

[Justice wouldn't have bothered to knock, since some of his lessons on human manners have fallen by the wayside during his isolation, so it's good that Leilani greets him.

He had known that there was something wrong, but her sudden lack of arm is still a surprise. Justice instinctively reaches out, steadying her with one hand as her lack of balance is clear, and walks inside, eyes not leaving her stump.]

Your arm is gone. [He says it like it might be something she hasn't noticed yet, but really it's a way to help himself process what he's seeing.] What happened?

[ The only person she’s been near since she woke up is Dorian; for a person as tactile as she is it’s nern a difficult period of time. Justice’s touch steadies her and she breathes out, leaning close for a brief moment before she steps away.

She’s not sure how he’s going to react to her now, knowing that the Anchor is gone. It was her way of comforting him and caring for him, and she feels the loss keenly at the sudden reminder of his presence. It’s easy enough to hide, though, and she urges Justice into the room before she settles onto her bed. ]

I went home. I knew it was bound to happen, but the adjustment period is taking longer than I hoped. [ As hard as it is, she tries to smile. ] I’ve lost the Anchor, but at least I’m not dead.

[It doesn't occur to him to grieve the loss of the Anchor--not yet, at least. Yes, there is a conspicuous lack of the soothing music of the Fade in the air, but her blood still holds a trace of it, humming in her body with her magic.

Instead, he focuses on her lost arm because he knows that mortals are not like him. They can't just change their form if they feel like it. How will she hold a mage's staff? Mages don't need staffs to use their magic, but she's still handicapped in battle until she can find a weapon and style that only requires one hand. Unless she can find a usable prosthetic?

Justice wants to reach out, but he doesn't know how to make this better, if he can.] Is there something I can do to help?

[ The sense of awkwardness is there and Leilani isn't sure how to combat it; she feels the weight of it bear down on her shoulders and she recognises that it has to be her job to fix it. Justice is still learning what it means to enjoy aspects of humanity, and she's not sure how much she can expect from him in a situation as tense and uncertain as this one is.

It's impossible to ignore the way she wants to throw herself into his arms and feel the swell of peace and warmth that was so common for them before now. She wants the comfort from him, wants to feel something familiar, something that had become almost normal, but... She doesn't know how to ask for it when she has a brand new weight on her chest. ]

I'll need to relearn how to use my weapons, but that'll come with time. [ She gives him a wry smile. ] I'm not sure you can regrow limbs for me.

[Her mind is easier to hear without the Anchor there, but it is no less confusing. He thinks she wants affection. But if so, why does she not say so? There's no inherent justice nor injustice in this, so it is not intuitive, and it is not easy for him to parse through her thoughts on it.

He risks wrapping an arm around her shoulders. That seems like a safe thing to do.]

I am afraid that I cannot. If we were in the Fade, it would be easy, but here... [This is not a world that bends easily to pure willpower. No amount of wanting her to have her arm back will conjure it.]

[ Her emotions are a tangled mess right now; she's tired and worn down, the phantom pain of a missing limb hanging over her like a lead weight, the agony of seeing Solas again fresh in her mind, and she's desperate to lose it all, to give it up, just for a few moments. It's her job, her duty, her place to take him down and stop him, but the very idea of it is agonising.

At least there's Justice, and his arm slipping around her brings a sense of relief. Carefully, she leans against the weight of his body, closing her eyes. ]

I can't take us to the Fade. [ Not anymore. The Anchor is gone, and so is her usefulness to the world. ] I'll try and find some kind of replacement. Cyril had a prosthetic.

[Okay, apparently the physical contact is still a reliable source of comfort for her. Justice gently runs his hand over her hair, because she liked that before too and he's really trying his best here. Yet despite his efforts, she's still so unhappy.]

Some people among the fleet have well functioning replacements for missing limbs. Perhaps one of them will share the designs.

[He doesn't know how comfortable it would be to have a machine attached to one's body like that, but it's an option worth exploring.]

I'll work something out. It'll just be something new to get used to.

[ Slowly, as if unsure of herself, Leilani steps forward so that her arms can wrap around Justice, drawing him closer as she rests her head on his shoulder. There are very few people willing to get this close to her despite how much she enjoys the physical contact; she wants to wrap herself around him and stay close, but she's afraid he'll reject her.

His hand runs through her hair and she finally relaxes properly, closing her eyes. ]

I'll have to relearn how to use my staff as well.

You will manage. I will spar with you, if you wish it.

[Even if they can get a functional replacement limb quickly, she'd still have to relearn how to use her staff. Justice cannot offer much, but practice will go a long way. She already knows the basics.

He slides his arms around her slowly, though the motion is less awkward than it once was. He's more confident when he touches her now. He knows that that's what she likes.]

I am sorry that this happened to you.

Are you prepared for the risk of being beaten by a girl with one arm?

[ It's said teasingly, gentle, and Leilani shifts a little to squeeze Justice as best she can with her single limb. It's going to take time to readjust to how things feel with an arm missing, to the way she feels a touch bereft without her Anchor to guide her, but she'll learn. She's struggled through far worse in her time.

Tilting her head up, she touches her lips to his cheek gently. ]

Thank you. For coming.

If you are more skilled than I am, then there is no shame in being defeated.

[He hears the playfulness, and there isn't as much audible playfulness in his voice, but there's a little bit in his eyes, in the way the corners soften.

Her lips are warm in his cheek, and his eyes half-close, pleased with the intimacy and closeness.]

Of course I came. [She is good to him, and she needed someone. He felt the injustice she suffered.]

I'm not sure about more skilled, but I am tenacious.

[ She's learning to understand Justice a little better, and she's picking up on the more recognisable parts of him - he's softer, gentler, and she knows a tease from his lips now.

Breathing out, Leilani ignores the soreness of her heart that comes hand in hand with memories of Solas and focusses, instead, on the overwhelming urge she has to lean up and kiss Justice properly. ]

You've always come for me. I appreciate it, truly.

It is the right thing to do.

[That's what matters to him. He does what he thinks is right.

Her thoughts are clear, radiating off her skin and completely unhindered by the Anchor now. She's thinking about kissing him. Frankly, he's not against the idea.

He draws his thumb over her bottom lip. It's soft.] May I kiss you?

[He's learned that he shouldn't assume that someone is okay with something just because they're thinking about it. He should ask first.]

Aw, Justice.

[ She softens, and welcomes him, because he is being so good and kind and wonderful - it's far more than she deserves.

Eyes closing, Leilani relaxes as his fingers brush over her skin, breathing out. There's something relaxing about having a man who can quite literally read your mind, and her lips twitch into a smile before she nods. ]

Yes. You can kiss me.

[ It had only been a few weeks in her mind, but she knows she missed him. ]

[He pulls her in close, bowing to meet their lips and kissing her softly, running his fingers through her hair. There's none of the desperate heat there was last time, but there's tenderness and care and an attempt to make her feel better, to feel like it will be okay even if it will be hard.

He can't really understand the mortal condition. He knows that. But he knows that it can be hard, and he wants to make it a little easier, at least this once.]

[ The kiss is soft and gentle and Leilani leans into it without any hesitation; with her arm wrapped around him she feels safe and enclosed, no longer worried about the dozen and one things running around in her mind. She's not worried about the loss of her arm or the fight she has to think about when she gets back to Thedas; all she can think about is being close to Justice, to holding on to him and not letting go.

When it comes to a natural end she leans up, pressing her lips against his forehead gently, her hand coming to touch his cheek. ]

Thank you.

IC Inbox (Drift Fleet)

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